Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly.  -Author unknown (as seen online)

when all appears lost, hope seems a waste.  yet.... so many times in my own life, G-d waited to the last moment before saving the day (sometimes reminds me of abraham and his son).  remembering the times He has saved me from despair, brokenness and free-falling into nothingness, gives me hope today. 

i'm challenged by feelings of being trapped within my own decisions.  at moments, i see darkness and no light.

hope is scary when life is dark and seems over.  i pray for  hope, trust and light....

like the kid in the movie 'angels in the outfield' i say, "it could happen."   i mean, a caterpillar's life is pretty dark -leading to death.  and yet.... it takes their death before they can be transformed into beautiful creatures that fly....  -  i want to fly....

"Do we live a kind of Christianity without Christ?" -Patrick Bennett, Jr. (shared at Communion and Liberation School of Community on 5/10/12)

seems to me we do sometimes.  maybe a lot of the time.  :-(

patrick's questions struck me.  as i honestly look at my life, i live the majority of it not even conscious that i'm a Christian - or aware of Christ's presence in my life.  sad.

i sometimes get angry at the leadership of the church.  with few exceptions, i see businessmen who are running a quasi-charitable organization, i.e., a christian church w/out christ.  i am grateful for fr. gilbert, our holy father, Benedict XVI and some others who inspire me.  and sad, that too often it is i who am not living how i wish to live as a follower of christ, the great Mystery where i find moments of supernatural joy and a life worth living.

as ghandi said, may i be the change i wish to see in the world....

Let your religion be less of a theory and more of a love affair. -G.K. Chesteron (found online at http://veni.sanctespirit.us/aggregator?page=1273)

if my religious life is confined to do's and don'ts, a moralistic life -how boring.

but if my religious sense is full of wonder, awe, excitement, adventure - a supernatural heart pounding life -how exciting!

too often i've settled for appearances.  too often i've settled for a luke warm life, occasionally veering into the cold and sometimes into the hot....

i want a full life - an abundant life - a life of full of gusto - a heart radiating with heat - with times to rest and rejuvenate - and honeymoons of excitement.... may i inch closer to my hearts desire - my destiny -grateful to my G-d who patiently urges me toward happiness, joy and fulfillment....

Really, the pity of life is not what men do; it is what they miss - the joy of the prodigal son. -Archbishop Fulton J. Sheen (found in the book "Guide to Contentment;" p. 112)

one of my sisters texted me after receiving todays quote (via text) that i send to my 4 children and some others.  she texted:  "Nice... We fit that prodigal son description I think... :-)" -yep!  she and i are both recovering alcoholics who take our sobriety, our lives and our spiritual fitness pretty seriously.  isn't it weird that we're both pretty happy?  ;-)

not to say we aren't sad or don't suffer - we are sometimes, and we do sometimes.

but when you've been as low as we have been, admit defeat, admit being powerless -paradoxically, sometimes slowly, sometimes quickly, as the healing and growth begins -a joy, an indescribable joy fills you up from the inside out.

may we remember, as my mentor taught me, if we do the things that have worked for others, there's a chance it will work for us....

The mind is its own place, and in itself, can make heaven of Hell, and a hell of Heaven. -John Milton (found in the book "Saving Your LIFE - One Day at a Time; A Daily Guide to Easy, Fundamental Coping Skills for Depression" -p. 130)

why wouldn't i utilize the power of my mind to improve my mood, my happiness, my life?  (hmmm, 'i' come to mind)

the mind has tremendous power of course.  but it is limited.

what if i combined the power of a positive attitude with a passionate heart?

when i've done this, gotten out of my own way and done it, i've experienced heaven on earth.  sadly, it doesn't happen very often.  there seems to be one thing getting in my way: me.

Sweater, n.:  Garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly. -Ambrose Bierce (found online at http://www.quotegarden.com/mom-day.html)

i like this quote.  it reminds me of a friend who is one of the best moms i know.

she thinks about her kids all the time -how to help them in their lives.  she talks about how happy she is when she gets to spend time with her 3 children and 2 grandchildren.  but she doesn't just say it.  her face lights up w/ joy.  she truly would lay down her life for them.  really, in many ways, she has.

and by the way, she has a full life.  a challenging f/t job (that she loves), is in a Masters program (won't accept less than an A in every class), and, is an active volunteer with a nonprofit making a meaningful impact in many lives.

she loves G-d and is so grateful for her many blessings.  she's serious, happy, joyful, grateful, mysterious, intelligent, hardworking, thoughtful, caring, giving, brimming over with life....  she inspires me....

You will only make this journey once.  What kind of journey will it be? -Billy Graham (found on the inside jacket of his book "The Journey - How to Live by Faith in an Uncertain World")

this quote makes me stop and think about how precious each moment is.

and that i've got decisions to make every day about how i want to live those moments.

i've lived too much of my life in fear and with hesitation.

Lord, please help me make the rest of this journey one you would be proud of....